Christmas in Korea

Butterflies flew in and out of my stomach last Friday morning from the time I woke up until the time I shut my eyes. My reservations at a backpacker guesthouse "dormitory room" in Seoul ended up looking far more rundown than the online photos indicated. I arrived hours before to check it out and nearly cried when I opened the door to a room the size of a large closet with ever-so-firm and squeaky bunk beds. (The bunks were part of the plan, but the room's minimal conditions were not.) With only a lick of confidence in my ability to navigate around Seoul, I felt sore out of luck and racked my brain for how I might prepare Nick for a junky sleeping arrangement after a 24-hour international flight. Thankfully, I met with Ju for dinner, and her presence has a calming effect for me. Nick's flight landed on time, but he was in no mood for anything but a good night's sleep, so I decided that a change of arrangements was in order. We moved from the crappy dorm room ($18 per person) to the Biwon Motel ($100 per night.)

The new room included a double bed and a twin bed, a television, a clean bathroom with plenty of amenities, a computer with internet access, and a mini fridge with...check this out, Americans, free water bottles and juice cans. The beds and walls were painted a chocolate brown theme, and the light fixtures had several brightness intervals. Our room key enabled all the electronics through a slot on the wall near the entryway. The Biwon Motel was probably a four-star upgrade. I learned that sometimes it's worth it to pay extra money for the comfort of someone you love, especially if it prevents conflict during vacation time.

A few days into the trip, Nick suggested that we consider the week our Christmas present to each other. He said we should decide collectively to not make money a big issue but to enjoy our time as a holiday offering in place of international mailing fees later on. Admittedly, we knew it would be the most expensive Christmas ever, but the outlook certainly helped us not get bent out of shape about cab fare or other travel expenses. It seemed like a reasonable idea to me. (As it is, I think we did OK.)

On Saturday morning, I made a trip to a nearby convenience store for a familiar cereal, milk, and fruit, determined to make amends for my poor planning the night before. We relaxed in the motel until afternoon, watching bits of movies on the English channel and getting ready at our leisure. I enjoyed hearing Nick's commentary about Korean commercials. So delightful to share the same air again. When we were finally ready, we headed to Myeong-Dong--a large shopping and entertainment area in Seoul. We squeezed through spaces between kiosks and Asian crowds, sampling street food items. I took pleasure in watching Nick react to it all for the first time. At 5 o'clock, we went to Nanta, which in my opinion, is a must-see item for anyone within a 100 mile radius of a show. The five performers, whose talents range from drumming to stunting to comedy, played a restaurant crew preparing for a wedding feast. They threw plates to choreography and chopped lettuce to intricate rhythms and made me laugh so hard my cheeks throbbed.

One of the performers even pulled Nick on stage to play the groom and taste-test the wedding soup. They dressed him in traditional garb and de-hatted him with a slapstick flare at the end of the segment.

After the show, I was surprised to hear someone call my name from down the aisle. How many people did I know in Seoul, South Korea? It was Diana's sister, Wendy and her husband, Joel. What a coincidence! The four of us went out for Korean barbecue. They told us about the lantern festival along Cheonggyecheon stream, so we ended the evening by viewing colorfully-lit shapes like this one.

Monday was one of the most fun, romantic days in my recent memory. Seoul is fun, but Daegu is much less crowded and perhaps more relaxing. Having no where to be, we did just exactly what we wanted all day. Slept in again. Went to a PC bong for the first time, so Nick could check his mail. Ate some mondoo (dumplings) on the way to the city. Though we planned to see a movie, the theater offered only 2012 and The Time Travelers' Wife. Nick watched the latter on the plane, and neither of us were too interested in 2012. Instead, we walked around the city again to see what we might find.

A middle-aged Korean man beckoned our attention with a smile and an inviting gesture from inside a narrow shop. The man seemed very confident that we wouldn't regret taking a ride on his 3-D virtual reality contraption. Again, having no where to be and no reason to object, we decided to give it a whirl and selected "Snow Coaster" from the video menu. We slipped on a pair of 3-D glasses and buckled up for "safety." I've never screamed and laughed so much in front of Nick before. It occurred to me that we've never been on a roller coaster together. Ten minutes of virtual exhilaration was a decent substitute, I think.

We rode the escalator up 12 floors of a department store, making a couple of purchases along the way. Then, we ate omurice at La Tomate--a restaurant Jihey showed me a week ago. Later, I screamed even more when we watched Cloverfield in a DVD bong. We thought we'd found a regular video rental store until we realized that they had private rooms, complete with couches and big screens for viewers to see the film on site--a perfect date spot. After the film, we headed out for a night cap at a local pub, where we made friends with two female bartenders, and I had the opportunity to practice my Korean. Nick and I love to make friends with total strangers, and I think we're pretty good at it together. The friendship resulted in two free drinks from the ladies, who I'm sure thought, "What a cute American couple!"

On Tuesday, we chilled out together, graded some papers, read together, walked around Youngnam University Campus, befriended a shaggy, unkempt dog (nicknamed "Car Wash,") ate Western food, and watched Korean Kim Yuna beat American Rachel Flatte in a figure skating championship. (I was touched by Nick's willingness to watch figure skating with me.) On Wednesday, we met my boss and his wife for lunch, and Justin offered to get Nick a job in Korea. (He politely showed interest and raved about his current job.) In the afternoon, Nick came to my classes, and my adolescent girls were as giddy as ever. He met my host family that evening, and perhaps by divine inspiration, Nick taught Minwoo how to turn his hips when swinging a baseball.

On Thursday, we headed back to Seoul. Originally, I planned to work Thursday as well and take an early train on Friday morning to Incheon, but logistically, that would have never worked. Instead, we stayed in an excellent guesthouse with equal-if-not-surpassing accommodations as Biwon but half the price, and it was within a five minute drive of the airport. Korean Air check-in was busy, so we barely made it through in time anyway. I said goodbye again, tearing up but feeling somehow numb inside.

Not as difficult as our last goodbye. Maybe because there's much less uncertainty. I have four months more, but this time, I'm not an amateur alien to Korea. I don't despise the differences anymore, but I accept them as a reality. (I even found myself over-serving Nick this week--peeling and slicing all his fruit for him in perfect Korean hospitality.) I can speak some Korean now. I know how to get around Daegu, and after this week, I even feel pretty good about getting around Seoul. I don't fear loneliness anymore, but I'm certain of it. However, God has been faithful to me. He has many people in this place who are watching out for me. I didn't eat any turkey on November 26th this year, but I said a prayer and had a lot of thanks to give.

Countdown

Nick's arrival on Friday night has colored my outlook for the past week with pleasant shades. I can't wait to see him and be with him again. I also think I'm due for a break! I started counting at twelve days to go, and I've been counting ever since.

• Being in the mood for romance, I found myself thinking more about the wedding than I have in a long time, surfing through theknot.com and browsing bridesmaids dresses and flowers. We've been trying to find a good first dance song, though there are probably other wedding decisions which are more pertinent.
• I skimmed my "Lonely Planet: Korea" guide for things to do in Seoul and made a short list in my little pink notebook. A couple weeks ago, I reserved tickets for us to see Nanta--a famous Korean comedy/percussion show. I called Ju to find out how much time she would have to be our tour guide.
• An innkeeper in Jilyang shut the small, sliding door in my face today after I tried to ask for a reservation for Nick, using my Korean-English dictionary. Feeling offended, I went to the motel across the street to try again at Hwang Jae Jang Motel. It was about 5 bucks more than the first place but a lot less sketchy in appearance. A nice gray-haired man took me immediately to look at the room, which included a bed, bathroom and good-sized TV. As it turned out, he didn't take reservations either, but I'm more inclined to give him my business based on his courtesy.
• I asked my friends at Dongshin to pray for Nick's stomach. I really hope the Korean food doesn't make him sick. In the meantime, I've been making mental notes of western things we can eat. There are a few pretty good places to get spaghetti in Hayang. There's a KFC in Kyungsan.
• "Just one more Tuesday," I told myself on the way to work today. I was mean to the kids today. By that I mean I didn't hesitate to yell and finally stuck to my guns about not always playing games in class. It was tough, but I felt so much better about five or ten minutes of hangman when I knew they had focused for 45.
• One of my students whined when I told her I would be gone on Friday, and they would probably have Justin teacher instead. She said Justin teacher is scary. Haha! At first, I liked the idea of being missed. But then I realized that I could use a little fear factor.
• Minwoo asked me to play UNO with him and his friend last night. Again, he wanted to enforce a flicking punishment for the loser. I lost...twice. (I covered my forehead with a blanket to absorb the sting.) Then I actually suggested that the lose run outside barefoot, feeling confident that I wouldn't lose again, but I did. And the cold stone pathway in front of the church hurt my feet. I don't know how my response time got so slow. I must be distracted by a certain someone coming to visit soon.
• I had a dream last night that I chipped one of my front teeth really badly, and my first thought was, "O no! Nick is coming to visit on Friday, and I can't hide this from him!" Nick said he learned somewhere that a chipped or broken tooth in a dream means concern about relationships. So weird. It's also pretty weird not seeing my fiance for 3 months!

I promise to take plenty of pictures of our adventures together and share them here on my blog.

11/11 is for Pepero Day

About a month ago, my bakery friend JiHee explained to me the ins and outs of Korean holidays as she pointed to dates on a small flip-calendar She told me about their variation of Valentine's Day, during which girls buy gifts for their love interests. She told me about White Day in March, when the guys then return the love tokens to the girls. Then later that month, Koreans celebrate Black Day to recognize all of the angry people who didn't receive gifts on either day. The wallflowers eat jajangmyeon--a Chinese noodle dish with a black-colored sauce--to ease the pain of their lonely hearts. It's a good thing the bakery was vacant because I laughed pretty loudly at this one.

Koreans like to have something to celebrate every month, she said, flipping through the summer months, through independence day in August and Chusok in October. She put her finger on the eleventh of November and told me to guess the meaning of the date. She waited with expectant eyes, clearly energized by our conversation, but I gave her a blank stare.

"I don't know," I said. She held up two pointer fingers side-by-side to give me an obvious clue, but I had nothing.

"It's Pepero Day!" she exclaimed. I offered her no reaction.

"What's pepero?" I wanted to know. She seemed floored that I didn't know about pepero.

Well, pepero is like a long, skinny bread-like cracker, dipped in chocolate. It's a little bit like those chocolate-covered pretzel sticks sold during Christmas, but the cracker isn't salty.

There's generic pepero that's sold in small red boxes. The green boxes have pepero with almond pieces. There's "real" pepero that is sold at the bakery or in the baked goods section of a grocery store. Nude pepero, yes, nude, is cracker on the outside and chocolate on the inside. The markets create full center displays from their pepero stock on pepero day and the eve prior. Then on November 11th, customers buy pepero for their significant other, friends, kids, parents, teachers, and even their students. The holiday is a bit commercial, obviously. Here's a picture of my pepero stash from the day:

Anyway, it's a bit rare for me to blog two days in a row, but I had a pretty good Pepero Day. I met Jihey in downtown Daegu before work. Tomorrow is the Korean SAT, so school dismissed early, and Jihey promised to assist me with a much-needed haircut. We met at the train station and went out for lunch at a place that was clearly the high school student hangout. (Nearly every person in the room was dressed in uniform!)

We went to a snazzy-looking hair shop, and I got a really great hair cut for only 8 bucks! I was pretty nervous about it because Aunt Cathy told me about someone she knew who had a haircut nightmare in South Korea, but I was very impressed with this one. The stylist cut it dry, as opposed to washing it like in the states, but she styled it really nice afterward. Didn't even feel the need to go home and restyle it to my liking!

After the haircut, we went to Madeline Cafe on Jihey's recommendation, where you can get a free piece of cake with the purchase of a coffee drink. Well, that free piece of cake evidently also includes an array of other pastries, none of which I could put down after the omelet rice and chicken cutlet we ate for lunch, and the free slice of cappuccino cake. Jihey finished it off, though! Where does she put it? I'd like to know.

More than anything, the outing was another great chance to chat. She asked me about holidays in the states, and I was surprised to realize how silly I felt describing our customs for St. Patrick's Day.

Conversations and Korean Christianity

My relationship with my host family has improved considerably. Perhaps, in part, due to the space created through many consecutive days of "self-serving" lunch when Hyunsuk was busy visiting an ill church member or when she had another meeting to attend. Perhaps because we've fallen into routine.

Recently, I had two really great conversations with Jihey and Jimin.

Jihey and I sat after dinner on Sunday night, chatting about all sorts of things. Jihey finally questioned me about Nick...three months is a long time for a teenage girl to hold back such questions. I showed her my Korean book, and we talked about the differences in grammar and syntax. We talked about movies we wanted to see. We considered her career possibility as a counselor.

My conversation with Jimin rose out of my desire to read the box of tea packets I bought at the market. I needed a translator, and she happened to be enjoying a bowl of Ramyon (Ramen noodles) at the table. Somehow we got to talking about her dreams--to go to the United States and to sing. Both dreams surprised me, though all the time she spends on the Internet listening to music should have indicated.

Then she said something that really caught me off guard. She said, "Sometimes I don't like that my family is Christian." The comment gave me almost immediate understanding. Almost deja vous. I remembered how I felt at 13 among my peers.

She proceeded to explain how her parents don't like her to listen to any non-Christian music. And actually, they don't even approve of contemporary Christian music, but listen and worship only through old hymns. Singing rooms, which are quite the popular entertainment in Korea, are forbidden from her. When I asked her if she really believed that God opposed singing rooms, she said that yes, she thought He did. Or so she'd been told for years. I tried to recollect the goofy fun I had in a singing room in Seoul and imagine what could be so God-forsaken about it.

She confided in me with some things she has kept from her parents. I counseled her to know what the Bible says and doesn't say, yet to honor her parents, especially while she was living with them. I hope I said the right thing.

It seemed as though my months of awkwardness in their apartment made sense all of the sudden. I don't know why it's taken three months for me to have a relationship with these girls. JiMin said she wanted to talk to me every day, but she was shy about her English. I hope we can have a better relationship moving forward.

I had a pretty rough day today. Kids, particularly young boys, couldn't seem to stay in their seats. Many of them yelled responses to my questions, reaching an unacceptable decibel with their voices. One little boy cheated during a memory game, peeking at cards during someone else's turn. Another boy played with his cell phone, laid his head on his desk, and refused to exert any effort to actually answer the questions, but instead blurted out "C! A! B! D!"--one right after another until I nodded in approval at the right answer.

I cried at work today. Don't worry. I'm a frequent crier. I've never liked that part of my personality because it often freaks people out. Many people cry only when something very serious has happened. Someone has died. Or they break up with someone they love. But I cry out of stress.

Mrs. Joe thought it would be nice to order fried chicken and beer for me after work to soften the edge of my rough day. Her suggestion of the beer took me by surprise because I knew that Mrs. Joe was a Korean and a Christian, and actually, the last person I would expect to suggest alcohol as escapism. But it was delicious! And the company was great, too. Mrs. Joe, Agnes, and even one of the Korean moms joined me for some chicken and beer. The mom brought some wine to share with me.

She assured me that even moms have to yell at little boys, and frequently. Agnes taught me the phrase "Get out!" in Korean. She said they take advantage of me because I'm pretty, smiley, short, and overall non-threatening in appearance. Agnes says I need to practice my mean face, even in front of a mirror if necessary. She's right. I don't even know what my mean face looks like. I can't even imagine it.

Mrs. Joe said she used to cry a lot before she met Jesus. Agnes said she read once that crying is a gift from God because afterward, He raises our life back up again. I don't know if that's biblical or not, but I do know that the poet of Psalm 104 praises God for creating wine that gladdens the hearts of men. And Proverbs 31 says a king should refrain from drinking, but "give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish, let them forget their poverty and remember their misery no more."

Agnes offered me the remaining wine and beer for me to take home, but I told her I didn't think the minister would like it. I'd had enough anyway.

Workout variety and bubble wrap

When I told Moxanim and Hyunsuk that I wanted to work out two months ago, they explained to me an array of options, which included everything from mountain climbing to feigning residence in a nearby apartment complex to purchasing a membership at the fitness center across the street from the church. Moxanim and Hyunsuk are money-savers, so they sought out a cheaper option and found one a couple miles away from the church.

It was a sort of medical clinic with exercise facilities on the second floor that are free and open to the public. The room had a few treadmills and bikes and several weight machines. Not fancy but nice. I was the only person under 30 that I ever saw there. Then again, some days I was the only person there. I counted the 15 or 20 minute walk as part of my workout for the first few weeks, then started riding Minwoo's bike. I met a few nice, older women who thought I was pretty and wanted to practice their English with me over a cup of coffee after my workout. Then they started commenting about my acne occasionally, and I tried to not let it bother me.

Recently, I noticed my interest in exercise starting to wane. If I woke up to late, then I would skip it. The gears on Minwoo's bike got screwy and made my ride less than comfortable. My workouts got shorter, and I started to hope the women at the desk wouldn't notice me on the way out. In short, a change of routine was in order.

So I joined the hip, convenient health club across the street from where I live. To be honest, I churned over the decision quite a bit. Felt a little guilty about spending $100 for three months of various workouts. Still, there were many reasons to join. It's an investment in my health, I told myself. Now my commute takes less than a minute. So I can do other things with my morning than just workout and shower! There are aerobics, pilates and yoga classes I can attend and many weight machines I've never seen before. They even have a jinjabong, a sauna, to relax in at the end. The health center hours are from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m., so I can adjust my workout time to my liking. Many people of all ages workout at this health club.

Yesterday, I ran for 30 minutes and then relaxed in the jinjibong. Today, I went to a yoga class to ease my tired muscles. The flexibility of some of these women amazes me. Their attire amused me, too--short shorts, tights, leg warmers and tennis shoes are a popular trend--so unlike anything I would saw at the WRC in Cedar Falls, Iowa.

Speaking of Iowa, I received another package from my mom on Tuesday with winter clothes. Yay! She also packed two 4-by-6 framed engagement photos of Nick and I, new reading material, old mail and a sack full of yummies. Highlights: Cracked pepper and olive oil Triscuits and cinnamon Teddy Grahams. And surrounding all of these objects was the charming cushion of bubble wrap, which is no small matter.

Bubble wrap is wonderful for all people, young and old, Korean or American. I once caught Mrs. Joe enjoying herself with bubble wrap a few months ago. There's something delightful about popping those little air pockets. Jimin came home pretty upset or moody a couple of nights ago and snapped at her mom in Korean. I didn't understand the matter, but I had a hunch bubble wrap might brighten her mood a bit. She said she liked bubble wrap, so I left some on the kitchen table as she prepared a snack for herself. A few minutes later, I heard her popping away from my room.

Tonight, I gave the remaining bubble wrap as a prize in my last class. The students twisted and poked at the plastic for the last few minutes of class, and I guarantee they went home happier for it! Bubble wrap is "Bokbokee" in Korean. Ye Chan said the name comes from the sound, which Koreans interpreted as "bok! bok!"

Another simple pleasure I've used in class is noodle dictation. I got the idea from ESL cafe online. It's so much more fun to spell English words and sentences with noodles than with pencil lead.

Happy Halloween weekend

What a weekend! We took the students trick or treating during class on Friday, which was both fun and frustrating. (I think feeling responsible for high-energy children in public stresses me out.) In the spirit of Halloween, I wore the Minnie mouse ears Mrs. Joe ordered for me and put a dot of mascara on my nose to add to the mouse look. The kids liked it!

On Friday night, Eli, Tharene and Elise threw a Halloween party at their apartment in Daegu. They covered the walls with black garbage sacks and cotton webs. They lined tea lights along the walls and put dry ice in the mystery-shot punch bowl. I was impressed with the decorations and relieved that no plastic, electronic ghoul was arranged to jump out at me in dark corners. The mood was eery yet too familiar to really scare anyone.

I never really liked Halloween, but I had a blast! It was fun to see everyone dressed up! My favorite disguise was a hospital gown and a plastic pig nose--"the swine flu." Eli was a very non-spooky mummy. Tharene was a spider. Others were pirates or animals. One friend just wore a sign that said, "When Obama goes, so do the clothes." Not sure what kind of a costume that is, but it made us chuckle anyway. I ended up dressing in a Korean hanbok that I borrowed from another teacher. (I have to admit that I felt a little silly dressed as a Korean in front of actual Koreans.)

So we talked about Halloween at our hogwans, drank the mysterious maroon potion and partied until 4 a.m., when most of us decided it was time to hit the Halloween hay. I woke up when light shone in Eli's bedroom and guiltily left the sleepy and party-strewn house to the hostesses.

I've had mixed emotions about the Saturday class I agreed to teach for Justin. It sucks to come back to Jilyang when I might rather just spend all weekend in Daegu. On the other hand, I really enjoy the high school students. Teaching them is really not too hard. The class reminds me of English Corner, except with a bit more organized learning. No discipline issues. Yes!

I introduced UNO to several of my classes this week, including the Saturday class. Many of them have really enjoyed it and willingly stayed 10 minutes after class to finish a game. I think much of the fun of UNO is the sort of jab and revenge teeter-totter that occurs with all of the "draw two," "reverse," and "skip" cards. My high school class had just as much fun with UNO as my younger kids. A deck of UNO cards would be a great gift to give away to Korean friends I make. (Do you think you could send me some for Christmas, Mom?)

A woman I met at the health center, Mrs. Chay, invited me to her house for dinner on Saturday evening. So I rode the bus to the E-Mart in Kyungsan, where I found a pair of jeans that fit me (wow!) as I waited for her to pick me up.

It seemed pretty clear that she was using me as an opportunity for her daughter to practice her English. I didn't mind though. Eun Young was pretty cute. She practiced "I am nine-years-old," and learned the word "persimmons." They expected me to eat a lot, which was also something I anticipated. After encouraging me through four pieces of fried chicken, they brought out a main entree of beef ribs as well as rice, vegetables, kimchi, wine, and fruit for dessert. Whew! They sent me home with a bag of fresh persimmons in honor of the English lesson. Mr. Chay requested a monthly dinner appointment on the car ride home. I gave him a "maybe" answer, wanting to keep my options open, but promised to come again.

On Sunday, I went to my Korean lesson and church. Then Su Jung, her brother and I went to Hayang for spaghetti and Baskin Robbins for dinner. Yum! It seems my happy days always include good food and good company.