Culture shock, breakfast barriers, and teaching English

I took this picture from the back porch at the church/apartment I live in. My camera doesn't do the artwork justice.

This is me helping a student name Eun-young with a t-shirt painting activity yesterday. This girl and the girl in the back, Lily, are actually two of my favorite students. Those of you who are praying for me, please pray that I would memorize the student's names.

During my last semester of college, I took an Intercultural Communication class. We talked about culture shock: the honeymoon, negotiation and adjustment phases, which vary from person to person. I envisioned my honeymoon phase to be rather long because I have a natural fascination with other cultures. But actually, I feel like I've passed rather quickly into the negotiation stage. (Don't get me wrong. I still find some cultural differences endearing and fun. For example, I love the stout, little Asian cartoons used to advertise all kinds of products. They're so cute.)

One day, my boss and I went to the immigration office in Daegu to help me get an identity card. I was surprised, and shocked even, when he opened the back door and asked me to take a seat. He sat in the front, and I sat in the back for our afternoon errands. Is this normal? I wondered. I'm not sure. In all respects, he is a very kind man and has worked very hard to help me get adjusted. He even bought me a transformer for the computer I'm typing on. (Asian outlets are not like Western outlets.) But it was hard for me to understand why I would sit in the back seat and he in the front.

One woman who works at the English Clinic speaks very little English. She wants to learn just as much as I want to learn Korean. Yesterday, she said to me, through Denise's translations, that I was very pretty. She said I looked like a doll even. Then she said I needed to take better care of my skin. Today, she said my hair looked better up. Honestly, I wanted to say, "I don't know you very well. Please don't comment on my appearance anymore." I'm probably being too sensitive. But I don't think Koreans feel embarrassed by remarks on personal appearance like the way Americans do. I've heard stories much worse than this. Over Skype, Kimchihey told Nick right away that she thought he was handsome. Then again, maybe we do comment at first meeting occasionally, although only if it's positive.

Hyunsuk serves me all the time, and she doesn't accept my help for much of anything. Every morning, she serves me breakfast, which is rather heavy in Korea. They usually eat a bowl of rice with some kind of meat or vegetable and maybe some fruit. In an effort to meet my needs, the Kim family took me to Costco to buy breakfast foods I might like. We bought muffins, cereal and bagels as well as several other things for the family. This morning, she served me one plain bagel, homemade yogurt with jam, sliced tomatoes with honey drizzled on top, and a bowl of Campbell's New England Clam Chowder. She had served me the clam chowder for breakfast the day before, and I ate it, mostly out of politeness, but I was reticent this morning because I didn't want to send her the message that I'm crazy about clam chowder for my morning meal.

I told Denise, a Korean woman, at work that while I appreciated her preparations, I was hoping to have a little more freedom as far as what I would eat for breakfast. I hoped I would be able to pour myself a bowl of cereal in the morning, but I didn't want to step in her domain if that makes her uncomfortable. Not only was this less than ideal for me, I think it was causing an inconvenience for her and her children, whose presence at the breakfast table would then be requested at an earlier hour (for translation purposes, I think.) I asked Denise how I might approach the situation, and she said she would talk to Hyunsuk for me. "...More graciously" she said. But today, I couldn't handle all that was on my plate, and I didn't feel like pretending. I ate the bagel and the yogurt, then I explained that I couldn't eat the rest. I'm not used to eating so much for breakfast. I told her two things every morning is enough. Fruit and cereal. Or yogurt and a muffin. I think she took it well, but I was concerned, and I'm trying to be extremely polite in order to not hurt any feelings. Laughter and smiles through our attempts at communication keep me hoping our relationship is okay from both ends.

On one hand, it's nice to have a mom while I'm overseas. On the other hand, I guess it makes me realize that I like to do my own laundry and make my own breakfast. Strange. Isn't it?

Classes are going really well sometimes and not so well other times. I'm learning that the ESL market is...well, just that in Korea: a market, a business. A good class has to be a combination of learning and entertainment.

Chris explained it this way: Spend the first thirty minutes learning, whether it be reading or teaching new vocabulary words, etc. Then spend the rest of the time playing a game. If you end the class with a game, then that's what the students remember. The kids go home and tell mom and dad that they had fun in English class, and then mom and dad keep paying the bills. I kind of cringed when I first learned the truth about this, but it seems to work. Kids under the age of 13 only have about a 30 minute attention span anyway.

We play lots of games in class. Most of the time, we play hangman. In phonics classes, we play a game during which the students must jump in front of the "X" when they hear a particular sound in a familiar word. During English camp, we sometimes play spelling games during which students race to the white board to write a vocabulary word. Games, games, games. I need to take some time to search the internet for creative English-learning games. Let me know if you have any ideas, Tom and Forrest.

When a class goes well, then I feel pretty good, but other times I leave feeling disappointed in my on-the-spot togetherness. (I haven't had too much time to plan.) Jean was actually fairly impressed after watching me teach a phonics class the other day. My experience with international students has helped me develop a habit of using small words. Sometimes, the students love me. Some of the girls in my morning classes draw hearts next to my name on the board before I come in to teach. However, one student today used this message for a hangman round: "I am not happy because I study English." Yikes.

All in all, I think I will get the hang of it. I look forward to being able to put more time into it when English camp is over.